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Phil Garnham: 'Will it be turkeys or farmers stuffed this Christmas?'

If I may paraphrase American founding father Benjamin Franklin, ‘in this world nothing can be said to be certain except death, taxes and elections’.

It has been just over 30 months since Theresa May wanted to get her ‘strong and stable’ mandate through Parliament, and we all know how that worked out.

 

So here we are on the cusp of another General Election on December 12.

 

I was born in Norfolk, live in Norfolk and I am a farmer’s son, which means one thing, I am a Conservative voter. This part of the world is one of the safest places to be a Conservative Parliamentary candidate.

 

Yet here we are, just over a month to go until the election, and I genuinely do not know where I am going to put my X on the ballot paper.

 

It would usually be a no-brainer, but this time I feel politically homeless. According to a survey conducted by The Independent in summer, 53 per cent of voters feel the same way.

 

Now Boris Johnson is a lot of fun, but so is my new labrador puppy, Bo.

 

Off he goes running around, getting all excited about various things, then inevitably, the moment your back is turned he does a wee in the corner of the room and will not make eye contact with you. But that is enough about Mr Johnson.


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Obviously, I will not vote for comrade Corbyn, because I am neither a communist, nor mad.

 

Of course there are the Liberal Democrats, and I do admire the way they have set their stall out as a vote for them is a vote to stop Brexit.

 

Article 50

 

However, this is all well and good, but once you have revoked Article 50, what are you going to do with the other four years, 11 months and 30 days of your premiership?

 

Finally, there is Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party. I only realised this week I have something in common with Mr Farage. No, not our shared love of wax jackets, but that he will not be standing as a candidate this election, which, interestingly, neither will I.

 

Joking aside, my decision will be made by which one I think will deliver its promises and support the rural and farming community, which does not make my choice any easier.

 

Soundbites

 

None of them seem to grasp the idea of what happens on farms, in the countryside or in rural businesses, except for a few soundbites when the cameras are rolling and appearing on Countryfile to spout platitudes about backing British farmers, while also handshaking a deal with the USA to import chlorinated chicken.

 

Perhaps I will spoil my paper, but I do hope I will have some clarity before December 12. However, regardless of whether I do, just in time for Christmas, we will have a result, of that we can be sure.

 

The question is, will it be the turkeys who get stuffed or UK farmers?

 

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