Farm consultant, freelance writer and dairy cow enthusiast Anna Bowen shares her experiences of the famous Royal Welsh Show.
1. There are more breeds of sheep in the world than can possibly be imagined. They all find a space in the sheep lines.
2. No matter how dry the weather is, you will always leave Members with wet mud splashed up your legs.
3. Breakfast will consist of eight different cheese samples, a spoonful of yoghurt, a thimble of toffee vodka and a hunk of bread dipped in chutney - all of which were gathered in the food hall.
4. You will be surrounded by slogan YFC t-shirts bearing legends such as “Ice Bank Mice Elf” or “Builth is our island, Members our villa, wanna couple up?”
5. But no more riding on the Builth bull - unless you can scale a security fence!
6. Prior to attending the show, you will make a careful list of everyone you know who is also attending, on which days, and in what capacity.
You will actually speak to 20% of these people. Of this 20%, half you will see repeatedly for the duration of the show, and eventually you will hide when you see them approaching.
7. Children will be taken to the show to visit the site of their conception.
8. A night out in town will always be made better by the discovery and ingestion of a curry from the hatch at the back of the Indian restaurant.
9. Everyone who goes to the YPV looks twelve and you will feel very, VERY old.
10. You will walk across the bank and see several people, set free on their annual pilgrimage to the show, who are blissfully unaware that unprotected pasty white skin turns red when exposed to that burning yellow thing in the sky.